People jokes
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
gay people
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
Jake?
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
Gay people would suck at war.