People jokes
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
My family.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Memes
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
What happened to people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? They swapped races.
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
What do you call my friends?...
Short.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.