People

People jokes

Bus

    • A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.

    Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."

  • 1

    • Shot

    • I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

  • 1

    • Music

    • What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

  • 1

    • Woman

    • I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

    How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

  • 1

    • Woman

    • A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

    I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

  • 1

    • Nickname

    • I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

    She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

  • 1

    • Thief

    • Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

    Doctors hope you get sick.

    Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

    But only thieves wish you prosperity.

    Weird?

  • 3