Shipping

Shipping Jokes

Morbid jokes

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.

The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.

The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"

Titanic

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.

The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Titanic

If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.

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  • Bar Code

    Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

    A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

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  • Norway

    Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

    So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

    Trump

    Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

    Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

    Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

    Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

    Fat

    Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

    Magician

    There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

    Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

    Warship

    Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

    So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

    September 11

    "Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

    Titanic

    My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

    Camel

    Why are camels known as ships of the desert?

    Because they’re full of Arab semen.

    Imposter

    In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

    Sound familiar? 🤔

    Well, in September 11th...

    Whale

    So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

    The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

    Teacher

    A note for my old English Teacher:

    Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...

    And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!

    Iceberg

    "Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.