Shipping Jokes

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.

The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.

The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"

pepole in 1912: titanic is unstopable even god coudlnt sink this ship. god: bet where is my icebergs

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

If you were on the titanic and you didn’t leave the ship what would you do? Just let that sink in

Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian

Obama, Trump and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children! Trump Screw the women and children! Clinton: Do you think we have time...?

Yo mama so fat when she said i want a boat they gave her a naval ship

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrr.

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear. Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him. Go on, so what did you do with ship them?

yo mama so fat survivors of the titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink. but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

Among us is a game (skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill every one, do this sound similar on September 11, 2001...

my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them Sound familiar🤔 Well in september 11th...

So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"

A note for my old English Teacher:

Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~

@DreamBlue

Q: What's a Ships Least Favorite Food A: IceBurg-ERS

Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it... - Iceberg 1912

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

why do they put barcodes on the ships in norway why? so when they come into port they can scan-de-navian