Shipping Jokes



pepole in 1912: titanic is unstopable even god coudlnt sink this ship. god: bet where is my icebergs



A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"



A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.

The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.

The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"


yo mama so fat survivors of the titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink. but when she reached the stern, the ship split.


milos sebrt

Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it... - Iceberg 1912


the titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the titanic ship cost $400 million to construct. Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!



Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship



my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.



Ur so fat u sunk captain crunch’s ship. Ur so fat ur blood type is Nutella.


Os Davis

Obama, Trump and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children! Trump Screw the women and children! Clinton: Do you think we have time...?



So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"



why cat orphans watch sci fi movies?

because they wont understand what the mother ship is



Q: What's a Ships Least Favorite Food A: IceBurg-ERS


There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semin and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story.


Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”



Luisa: the ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is

Captain of the titanic: wait what did you say

3 minutes later

Why didn't I listen to the strong one



In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them Sound familiar🤔 Well in september 11th...


Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?

For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.


I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for miraculous ladybug childrens show whatever the show is called but its a kids show. Skull emoji. Now they’re searching up pictures of tom holland laughing in their absolute weirdness. I like Tom Holland but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on google docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him