Sea Jokes

Daniel King
in Fish

What do fish 🐟 take to stay healthy ?

Vitamin Sea.

amypetnamedsteve
in Puns

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

NibbaF..got69

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

A random skeleton
in Puns

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

Daniel King
in Fish

What did the fish 🐟 get on his math test?

A sea plus.

Anonymous
in Puns

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

6
Anonymous

How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

Because they’re shellfish!

Anonymous

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, β€œHeck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!” The old lady fainted. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

What Would you find on a haunted beach?

A Sand-witch!

β€œHey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!”

Anonymous

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

1
Poopy
in Water

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

Anonymous
in Puns

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

6
GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

Anonymous

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

sarah luci lou garrett

why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back

Anonymous

I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.

Death&Decay

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

Anonymous

Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature which would he be? A: Adlof-in