Park jokes
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.