A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot, and are just going move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What happens when a frog parks illegally. It gets toad
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!!
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says: "Clothed Until Further Notice."
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground
I found a rock at the park, i threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
I see a kid crying in the park right. So I go up to him and say " hey where are your parants" and he says "well my dad left to get the milk and never came back and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda triangle
Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach
The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.
My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park
ill never forget my grandpas last words you need to park alittle closer
dad: want to go to the park kid:sure dad:come on kid:why are we at the orphanige dad:go in
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
