A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock



Bf:Hey what ya doing?

Gf:just lying in bed

Bf:just lying in bed?

Gf:and eating cereal

Bf:Ha nice,what would you do if i was in bed next to you…?

Gf:eat my cereal

Bf:i mean if the cereal wasnt there

Gf:id get out of bed and get more cereal




What does a bullied kid say during at game of Kahoot?

“Id like to Kashoot up this school.”


retired grocer

My friend David lost his ID. Now he is just Dav.



If you were a booger id pick you first




Why doesn’t George Washington carry his ID? Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.



id tell you a joke about infenity but im afrad it never end



Mike…id is coming tonight


Kim Taehyung's wife

Did you know that whenever i read my blood donor ID?

Because it says ‘B Positive’




yo mama so fat she id fat



I entered kians house, at the top of the stair i was greeted my greatest fantasy, JOHN, he said in a manly tone, “hello there” i walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back, as i walk past his room i felt uneasy , i walk into kians room to find no one, i turn around and gasp, john is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer, he pushed me onto kians bed, the bed was that bad it broke as i fell onto it, john says “a broken is nothing to worry about” i look up at him in disbelief, hes more masculine than i thought, he thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch, he then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point i knew it was to late john, the fart he ripped(sticky to the touch) had me so in shock i wasnt ready for what was next, he picked and jamp on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadyl, sticky to the touch fart id ever seen, it knocked me out, i awoke to find i was in the WALLS, i looked out to find i was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, i fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, i heard “GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK” i then knew i was in for some kian treats The end



Have you ever wondered how would your teachers look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25 years old english teacher. Id bang her if she were 20 years younger.