Park jokes

Wow, no SP jokes?

Ashton Parkes.

Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.

Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.

After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.

What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Rosa Parks.

Lol.

What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.