Park jokes
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, βParking fine.β
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Ashten Parkes
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If Iβm being honest, itβs got its ups and downs.
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.