Park jokes

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Ashten Parkes

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.

Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.

After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

Don't drink and park.

Accidents cause people.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"

The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.

Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."