Park jokes
Ashten Parkes
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.