Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, βParking fine.β
Ashten Parkes
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If Iβm being honest, itβs got its ups and downs.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
i canβt take my dog to the park anymore. why? the ducks keep trying to eat him. why would they do that? because heβs pure-bread.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
