One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”
What’s the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What’s the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody’s looking, you slip in the disabled one
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls the guy says " Are you a parking ticket, cause you got fine written all over you" The girl turn and say “How about you pay for them and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you”
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park so I decided to help. She didn’t stand a chance against the two of us.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: “Is it a boy or a girl?” The programmer replies, “Yes.”
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go f... these chicks.” The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
What do you call a cripple with no arms or legs waiting outside your front door Matt The same guy guy in public park Art Same guy floating in the ocean Bob
My wife and I were at he park with our little princess today. We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout “Stop those two! They have my daughter!”