Park Jokes

D.K.

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said "i am still choosing" she looked horrified

I´m still choosing...

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I´m still choosing." She looked horrified.

Anonymous
in Hairline

Your hairline’s so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there

Ramen
in Emo

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

Anonymous
in Shooting

The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.

Grandpa

My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park

dlm579
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."

cneal04
in Forehead

Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*

Tyler

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."

Biggie

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said "it's time to go sweetie" but before we could go someone said "stop them they have my daughter!"

2
Anonymous

If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.

If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.

The Escaped Cancer Cell

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

4
gay for Julian

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways.

Osama Bin Laden

Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don't belong in buildings

5
Nicholas

i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. "which one is yours" and for fun i said "i don't know i'm still choosing".

Queerly Clear

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

3

POV: The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.

me😐

in Donut

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and i know what ya'll thinking.

Who names their dog donuts.

🏳️‍🌈 Audrey 🏳️‍🌈
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

Anonymous

I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.