Daughter

D.K.

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified

Little Johnny

dlm579

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, “Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?” Mommy xays, “Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy’s garage, now go and play”
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, “Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn’t get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off.”

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Daughter

Tyler

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”

Forehead

cneal04

Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

8

Daughter

Biggie

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”

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Drive

gay for Julian

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways.

Plane

Osama Bin Laden

Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don’t belong in buildings

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Son

Nicholas

i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. “which one is yours” and for fun i said “i don’t know i’m still choosing”.

Poor

Queerly Clear

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”

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Wife

The Escaped Cancer Cell

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

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Shooting

Anonymous

The quiet kid starts playing Pumped Up Kicks in the parking lot before school.

Hairline

Anonymous

Your hairline’s so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there

Little Johnny

Foxdeerbunny00

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”

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Burning

Sweet Home Alabama

Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Alabama burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Daughter

Anonymous

I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

Car

Grandpa

My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park

Accident

Anonymous

If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.

If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.

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Girl

Anonymous

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: “Is it a boy or a girl?” The programmer replies, “Yes.”

Michael Jackson

Anonymous

What did Mickey mouse, and Michael Jackson have in common? : (What don’t they have in common) Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces,

Common

City Plumbers and Pedo's

What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?

They both lay pipes in public parks