One

One jokes

Chin

"Simon says touch your chin."

The fat people be like, "Which one?"

Orphan

The orphans all died!!!

Oh wait, no one cares...

Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.

Orphan

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

Memes

Wheelchair

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.

A yellow sign with black stripes. It says "Attention" at the top, followed by "Husband and wheelchair missing!" and "Reward for wheelchair". At the bottom there is small print "follow me on Instagram for more @goingonectwicesold".

Orphan

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

Mom

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

Lie

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Computer

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

Trend

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

Kennedy

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

Tree

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

Dad

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

Flamingo

Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?

Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!

Baby

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!

Gender

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )