One jokes
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
Memes
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.