What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
One Jokes
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
