One jokes
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!