One jokes
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
Memes
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
There is no god. None, not one.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
"Gotta number one victory royale."
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."