I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
One Jokes
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
