One jokes
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Memes
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.