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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, “You first”

I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

The virgin Mary wasn’t a virgin she was a prostitute, God raped her

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

Bale me out!

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond Virginia. I recommend that you go there

Good said let there be light and it was lit !