Christian jokes
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.
Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.
A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"
The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.
The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"
"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Christianity.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.