Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
One Jokes
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
