Penny Jokes

a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed "no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!"

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son "Come on Dick, lets go."

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel a one penny in his pocket? He had a 6 cents of humor.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, i dont think you'd have any The orphan: But why? Me: Because if someone loved you they wouldn't have thrown you out.

I have a daughter she’s a fan her name is penny..... fan she was born on the mountain pen y fan I adopted her because her mum fell of the cliff after birthing penny. It doesn’t matter really penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind he emerged from the betting office with all his money... he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person..each and everytime. He ,however couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him .. "But I'm undeserving I can't come with you" he said .. "Yes you can" replied the Angel , "you gave all your stake ( steak) away"

Your family is so poor when you knocked the door for money I offered you a penny and when you knocked again the rock answered and knocked you out