One jokes
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.