One jokes
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?
They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.