One jokes

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

What is one plus one?

It's TOO hard!

The one by die.

Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?

A. "We're in the Matrix."

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.

After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?

A: She moans with the other.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.

The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.

"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"