One

One jokes

Man

  • One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

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  • Hamlet

  • So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

    Beach

  • Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?

    Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,

    Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week

    For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me

    I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days

    Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves

    I need the beach I love the ocean

    Put my feet in the sand

    Watch the earth in motion

    Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

    Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

    Oh yeah

    You gotta wash it away

    Finally I'm here and I can't even stop myself from smiling

    Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island

    Don't miss my 9 to 5

    Living like a local on this island time

    I got those sandy toes and nobody knows jump in the ocean and just go with the flow

    I'll miss my sandy toes

    I've got to go back before you know this island is my home

    I need the beach I love the ocean

    Put my feet in the sand

    Watch the earth in motion

    Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

    Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

    Oh yeah

    You gotta wash it away

    Wash it away

    I need the beach I love the ocean

    Put my feet in the sand

    Watch the earth in motion

    Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

    Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

    Oh yeah

    You gotta

    Wash it away

    Wash it away

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  • Hacker

  • If Red gets voted out, what happened?

    Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"

    Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"

    Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"

    Lime, Green, and Purple run.

    Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.

    Black killed Red. Black is the win.

    LOL

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  • Boyfriend

  • Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

    Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

    Boy

  • So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!

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  • Church

  • A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

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  • Eye

  • Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?

    A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.

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