One jokes

Dark humor is like life:

Not everyone gets it.

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?

One is Super. The other is just soup.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

I don't know, I don't have one.

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.