One jokes

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

What do you call a Mexican with one leg?

Border hopper.

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?

Because he did not have one.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.