One jokes
I don't know, I don't have one.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"