One jokes
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
I don't know, I don't have one.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.