One jokes
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...