One jokes

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?

One Hung Lo.

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To hire the Mexicans.

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.