Occupation jokes
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Bob the builder.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.