Occupation jokes
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
What is a gay man's favorite job?
A blowjob.
Am I a guard or a guava?
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
I lick poo for a living... You?
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"