Occupation jokes
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
What is a gay man's favorite job?
A blowjob.