Occupation jokes
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."