Occupation jokes
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
A man walks into a bar.
Then he walks into a Pole.
Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.