Occupation jokes
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?
MC Angler.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
I blend children to make a good living.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.