I saw an Isis video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
showing them the ropes.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn't get the point.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
What person cant work at a family business? An orphan
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin ⚰️ and whispered. "Whose late now ?"
September 11th #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of...
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
when you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family buisness
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot. Everyone else in the office:😱
Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
What do you call sex in the world trade center?
An inside job.
Me walking in to the office: Principle: tell me what u did? Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
