Occupation jokes
Your dad must be a mailman.
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Am I a guard or a guava?
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
I lick poo for a living... You?
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"