Occupation jokes
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
Your dad must be a mailman.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.