Occupation jokes
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
Bob the builder.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!