Occupation jokes
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Parademic