Interior jokes

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?

I've never seen the inside of a mansion.

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.