Interior jokes

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?

I've never seen the inside of a mansion.

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"