I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …

so Trump can’t tweet it.

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? – One. They are efficient and don’t have humor.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? – Because they change theirs more often.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password

What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him

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