I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? -- Because they change theirs more often.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address and my phone number.
What do you call a traffic light tell to me it told don't look I am changing
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
To stop my password getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: StrongBrazilianNut111