How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? – One. They are efficient and don’t have humor.

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb? None. Feminists can’t change anything.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …

so Trump can’t tweet it.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him

How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb?

What makes you think feminist can change anything

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, that’s a hardware problem.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? – Because they change theirs more often.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as you like. They can’t change anything.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? – Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.

Just imagine, if Paul Walker survived the crash would they have to change his name from Paul Walker to Paul Crippled?

How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”

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