Change jokes

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.

Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

Kids changing the channel to Annie.

Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him.

What goes up but never comes down?

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

Teacher: What is your name? Me: Written in the stars.

Teacher: Where? Me: A million miles away.

Teacher: What are you talking about? Me: A message to the main.

Teacher: You must change your behavior! Me: Seasons come and go, but I will never change.

Teacher: Go to the school principal NOW! Me: And I'm on my way.