I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …

so Trump can’t tweet it.

My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? – One. They are efficient and don’t have humor.

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? – Because they change theirs more often.

What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”

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