Object jokes
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What did the plate say to the other plate?
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
I sat on a chair.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.