Object jokes
I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
Memes
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What did the plate say to the other plate?
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
I sat on a chair.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.