Object jokes
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
What do you call a cute door? A-door-able!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
I sat on a chair.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
Dolly (DYM 79).