Nut jokes
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Dez nuts!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
BofA deez nuts!
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
What's Pokémon #539 (Sawk)?
Sawk on deez nuts!
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!