Nut jokes
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Memes
Watch Key/Peele "Detective."
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
I love jokes!
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
Fuke
What is your favorite time of day?
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?