Nut jokes

Why does family love family?

Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.

"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

Name a nut. You because are nuts.

"Dees nutz, got 'em!"

What is 6 inches and has nuts?

A Snickers bar.

Deez nuts!

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

Imagine a dragon 🤔.

Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

Peanut butter 🧈?

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

What is the difference between a car and a tree?

A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

Isac, I suck deez nuts!

What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.

What did one nut say to the other nut?

A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."

My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.

Now we wait...

Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"

So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."

So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"

The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.