Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Shell Jokes
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.