Shell jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.