Nut jokes
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
Why did Adolf Hitler wish he had two nuts?
Because he only had one.
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
Why did Rhydon get an orphan...
Rhydon deez nuts!
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.
Sex.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
Cooper, your mum gay, lol.
Why are nuts on boys?
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.