Nut jokes
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Deez nuts, can we get much higher?
Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.
Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
I love my family.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Do nut get in my way.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
"Dees nutz, got 'em!"