Nut jokes
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Why did Adolf Hitler wish he had two nuts?
Because he only had one.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.