I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
im bored in class anyone wanna chat
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I have special needs and I was born with it
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
Watch Key/Peele "Detective."
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT
I love jokes
Fuke
