Nose jokes
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
My friend is blind so he can "no see."
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
What do you call somebody with no nose?