Nose jokes
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
What do you call somebody with no nose?
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!