Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Nose ID
Categories
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. The joke is that your honker is so massive, even Apple had to get in on the action and make a special iPhone just for you. They call it "Nose ID" instead of "Face ID" because, well, your face is basically just a giant nose. Word of advice: try not to sneeze too hard, you might set off all the iPhones in a five-mile radius!