Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Iām a clown...
And everyone knows.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
"Candice balls fit up your nose."
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
