Nose jokes
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Memes
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Iām a clown...
And everyone knows.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
"Candice balls fit up your nose."
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.