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Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. – He was high on my list of priorities.

I submitted 10 puns to see if they’d make this list. But no pun in ten did.

There’s 3 things I hate.

  1. Jokes
  2. Lists
  3. Irony

Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today. She responded with a list: -take out the trash -clean your room -Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets. That’s all sweetie! Explain= You can’t butter a electrical socket

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

I was in my car listing to my radio steve windwood’s song came on just roll with baby I said that must be one of steven hawkings favorate songs he sings to his girlfrined

really funny jokes at

This isn’t a joke, just an American back to school list. 1.Pencils 2.Binders 3.Paper 4.Pencil sharpener What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

Santa said my mom was good… But she is on the naughty list