Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
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Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This "joke" is about a dude who claims a creepy guy told him to touch his friend in exchange for candy. Get it? It's funny because it's messed up. People who make these jokes are dumb because they have no friends.