My jokes
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
My life </3 XD :'(
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
Suck my balls!
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.