My jokes

I slit my wrists.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

I suck my dick.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

"So what, ah, my G?"

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

What did the naked man say to the naked woman?

"Suck my dick."

Last night I had the strangest dream!

I sailed away to China!

And I caught the coronavirus!

You said you needed to wash your hands!

Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!

And you said!!

Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!

Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!

Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

My sexlife xddddddddd

Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

This. This is my class.

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)