If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die. But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I wont die because the potato is already dead and cant attack my immune system.
rizz
are you a biographer cause i picture us toghether can i take a picture of you for i can show santa what i want for christmas No pen No paper you still draw my attention you know what i hate about math they always talk about x and y but not about u and i
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other
guys don’t let nobody hurt you with words like someone once said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Some times I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My ex boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket check out for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97
Why did the orphan like to jump. So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with there parents. 1 like=10 more orphans in my basment
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them “because I’m such a noose-ance.”
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high,
She looked surprised.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry. -
Until I threw a watermelon in her face
~Robin
What does sex and food have in common My sister makes it better than my cousin
I asked my mom where babys come from she said I came from the adoption center.
My brother is ugly one time he stuck his head out the window, the police arrested for mooning
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
are you an orphanage? why? because i wanna put my kids in you
"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes
