My jokes
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.