My jokes
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎