My jokes

My mom calls me.

Me: WHAT MOM?

No answer.

Me: WHAT?

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Worst joke ever: me and my user.

Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?

Me: The boomerang came back.

Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.