My jokes

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back.

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.

It's my fort knight.

When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

I like my coffee like my women.

Amateur.

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."