I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11. Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!