Mother-in-law jokes

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Damn, I love being a sniper.

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.

Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.

I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then, she asked me flirtatiously,

"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet."

She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,

"Mom, are you still awake?"

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.