Mother

Mother Jokes

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

THE REASON WHY WOMEN HAVE SUFFERED LONGER THEN MEN IS BECAUSE MEN ARE USING WOMEN AND ABUSING THEM AS TOOLS AND PROPERTY WHICH THEY AREN’T DURING WWll WOMEN WERE USED EVERYDAY BY EVIL MEN FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR WIVES AND MUSILM WOMEN ARE BEING RAPED, WOMEN CHILDREN ARW BEING RAPED EVERYDAY WHILE YOU FUCKING TURDS OF HUMAN SHIT ARE MAKING JOKES OF ISSUES THAT NEED TO STOP SO STO WITH THE HOMOPHOBIA, ISLAMPHOBIA, BIPHOBIA AND ALL THE OTHER PHOBIAS MAKE SEXUAL HARASSMENT, ASSAULT AND RAPE VICTIMS VOICES HEARD WE WILL NOT STAY SILENT BECAUSE OF THIS SHITTY APP! ALSO GOD CREATED WOMEN EQUALY AS MEN DO NOT MISTREAT YOUE SISTERS, MOTHERS, AUNGS, MOTHER IN LAWS HOPE ALL YOU RAPISTS SEXUAL ABUSERS, SEXUAL ASSAULTERS ROT IN HELL WHERE YOU DESERVE TO BE NOT IN THIS COUNTRY OR ANY OTHER PLACE HELL IS WHERE YOU BELONG πŸ˜‘πŸ€¬πŸ–•πŸ»πŸ–•πŸΌπŸ–•πŸ½πŸ–•πŸΎπŸ–•πŸΏ

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died. When she met God she asked Him how come you didnt answer my prayers? God replied 'i did, i kept sending men to rape you but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion'

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After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."

Peter: Curses Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth Peter: *Crying* Jacob: Why are you crying Jacob: Whatever * Leaves orphanage*

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks β€œWhat’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said β€œIt’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks β€œDaddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says β€œIt’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad β€œWhat does sexy mean?” And the dad says β€œYour mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says β€œYou’re so so sexy!”

*In thick Russian accent Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid urkrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die.

Orphan:Have u seen my mommy? Person: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes? Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE? Orphan: MOTHER! Person: LEts go home! Orphan: Uhhhh *SHes was never to be seen again*

On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.

my brother said bruh why you so ugly plus why do you stink. me: is that supposed to be a roast i got one for you. why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother in stead of her stomach you came out of her butt that's why you were born with brown spots on your head thats her poop you stupid fuckface. my friends: ouch thats got ta hurt.

my mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. i didnt know what she doing but she grab my cock and started sucking. then i found out on porn she was doing deep throat. a couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, i thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. i cried for 5 hours. luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.