Miss jokes
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How did the rapper find his missing phone?
He checked the track list.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!