Miss jokes
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."