Miss jokes
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.